12 Things Successful People Never Reveal About Themselves at Work

(This article is spot on. Memorize these tools for success at work.)

Don’t send your career careening in the wrong direction. Here’s what not to divulge at the office.

Travis Bradberry

May 24, 2018

Revealing the wrong aspects of yourself at work can have a devastating effect on your career. In this article, originally published on LinkedIn Pulse, Dr. Travis Bradberry explains how to navigate this difficult landscape.

You can’t build a strong professional network if you don’t open up to your colleagues, but doing so is tricky, because revealing the wrong things can have a devastating effect on your career.

Sharing the right aspects of yourself in the right ways is an art form. Disclosures that feel like relationship builders in the moment can wind up as obvious no-nos with hindsight.

The trick is to catch yourself before you cross that line, because once you share something, there is no going back.

TalentSmart has tested more than a million people and found that the upper echelons of top performance are filled with people who are high in emotional intelligence (90 percent of top performers, to be exact). Emotionally intelligent people are adept at reading others, and this shows them what they should and shouldn’t reveal about themselves at work.

Related: Why You Need Emotional Intelligence to Succeed

The following list contains the 12 most common things people reveal that send their careers careening in the wrong direction:

1. That they hate their job.

The last thing anyone wants to hear at work is someone complaining about how much they hate their job. Doing so labels you as a negative person who is not a team player. This attitude brings down the morale of the group. Bosses are quick to catch on to naysayers who drag down morale, and they know that there are always enthusiastic replacements waiting just around the corner.

2. That they think someone is incompetent. 

There will always be incompetent people in any workplace, and chances are that everyone knows who they are. If you don’t have the power to help them improve or to fire them, then you have nothing to gain by broadcasting their ineptitude. Announcing your colleague’s incompetence comes across as an insecure attempt to make you look better. Your callousness will inevitably come back to haunt you in the form of your co-workers’ negative opinions of you.

3. How much money they make.

Your parents may love to hear all about how much you’re pulling in each month, but in the workplace, this only breeds negativity. It’s impossible to allocate salaries with perfect fairness, and revealing yours gives your co-workers a direct measure of comparison. As soon as everyone knows how much you make, everything you do at work is considered against your income. It’s tempting to swap salary figures with a buddy out of curiosity, but the moment you do, you’ll never see each other the same way again.

4. Their political and religious beliefs.

People’s political and religious beliefs are too closely tied to their identities to be discussed without incident at work. Disagreeing with someone else’s views can quickly alter their otherwise strong perception of you. Confronting someone’s core values is one of the most insulting things you can do.

Granted, different people treat politics and religion differently, but asserting your values can alienate some people as quickly as it intrigues others. Even bringing up a hot-button world event without asserting a strong opinion can lead to conflict.

People build their lives around their ideals and beliefs, and giving them your two cents is risky. Be willing to listen to others without inputting anything on your end, because all it takes is a disapproving look to start a conflict. Political opinions and religious beliefs are so deeply ingrained in people that challenging their views is more likely to get you judged than to change their mind.

5. What they do on Facebook.

The last thing your boss wants to see when she logs on to her Facebook account is photos of you taking tequila shots in Tijuana. There are just too many ways you can look inappropriate on Facebook and leave a bad impression. It could be what you’re wearing, who you’re with, what you’re doing or even your friends’ commentary. These are the little things that can cast a shadow of doubt in your boss’s or colleagues’ minds just when they are about to hand you a big assignment or recommend you for a promotion.

It’s too difficult to try to censor yourself on Facebook for your colleagues. Save yourself the trouble, and don’t friend them there. Let LinkedIn be your professional “social” network, and save Facebook for everybody else.

6. What they do in the bedroom.

Whether your sex life is out of this world or lacking entirely, this information has no place at work. Such comments might get a chuckle from some people, but it makes most uncomfortable and even offended. Crossing this line will instantly give you a bad reputation.

7. What they think someone else does in the bedroom.

A good 111 percent of the people you work with do not want to know that you bet they’re tigers in the sack. There’s no more surefire way to creep someone out than to let them know that thoughts of their love life have entered your brain. Anything from speculating on a colleague’s sexual orientation to making a relatively indirect comment like, “Oh, to be a newlywed again,” plants a permanent seed in the brains of all who hear it that casts you in a negative light.

Your thoughts are your own. Think whatever you feel is right about people; just keep it to yourself.

8. That they’re after somebody else’s job.

Announcing your ambitions at work when they are in direct conflict with other people’s interests comes across as selfish and indifferent to those you work with and the company as a whole. Great employees want the whole team to succeed, not just themselves. Regardless of your actual motives (some of us really do just work for the money), announcing your selfish goal will not help you get there.

9. How wild they used to be in college.

Your past can say a lot about you. Just because you did something outlandish or stupid 20 years ago doesn’t mean that people will believe you’ve developed impeccable judgment since then. Some behavior that might qualify as just another day in the typical fraternity shows everyone you work with that, when push comes to shove, you have poor judgment and don’t know where to draw the line. Many presidents have been elected in spite of their past indiscretions, but unless you have a team of handlers and PR types protecting and spinning your image, you should keep your unsavory past to yourself.

10. How intoxicated they like to get.

You might think talking about how inebriated you were over the weekend has no effect on how you’re viewed at work. After all, if you’re a good worker, then you’re a good worker, right? Unfortunately not. Sharing this will not get people to think you’re fun. Instead, they will see you as unpredictable, immature and lacking in good judgment. Too many people have negative views of drugs and alcohol for you to reveal how much you love to indulge in them.

11. An offensive joke.

Offensive jokes make other people feel terrible, and they make you look terrible. They also happen to be much less funny than clever jokes. A joke crosses the line anytime you try to gauge its appropriateness based on how close you are with someone. If there is anyone who would be offended by your joke, you are better off not telling it. You never know whom people know or what experiences they’ve had in life that can lead your joke to tread on subjects that they take very seriously.

12. That they are job hunting.

When I was a kid, I told my baseball coach I was quitting in two weeks. For the next two weeks, I found myself riding the bench. It got even worse after those two weeks when I decided to stay, and I became “the kid who doesn’t even want to be here.” I was crushed, but it was my own fault; I told him my decision before it was certain.

The same thing happens when you tell people that you’re job hunting. Once you reveal that you’re planning to leave, you suddenly become a waste of everyone’s time. There’s also the chance that your hunt will be unsuccessful, so it’s best to wait until you’ve found a job before you tell anyone. Otherwise, you will end up riding the bench.

Let me know what you think of this list. Do you disagree with any of these items? Did I miss any? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below, as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.

Related: Say These 14 Things to Get Yourself Fired​

How to Ask for a Raise and Get It

(Best of success on getting that raise!)

Asking for a pay raise may seem intimidating, but if you prepare ahead of time your chances of succeeding are far better. Plan for a raise request like a pro with these tips:

Prepare for your raise conversation by gathering specific performance data. Examples include your contribution to projects or deals that brought revenue to the business, efficiencies you suggested that saved your team time, clients you helped save, and awards or accolades that you received. Bonus tip: Make a habit of proactively sharing your achievements with your boss on a regular basis. This will help your manager see you as a high achiever worthy of a promotion long before a raise discussion occurs.

Compare your current salary from an objective source to see if you have room to negotiate. Online salary research tools such as Glassdoor, Monster or PayScale can help you check salaries of similar roles in your area.

Consider your timing to ensure the request is appropriate. Good times to ask include at your annual performance review or on the heels of a project where your work was remarkable. Avoid asking during exceptionally hectic times or during the busy season.

Make an appointment with your manager to present your case once your preparation is complete. Say something simple and direct like: "I'm excited about growing with this company and I'd like to discuss my future and salary, when would be a good time for you?"

Ask calmly and confidently in your meeting. Begin by expressing gratitude over your current pay and enthusiasm for your future. Specify the salary you desire and use the data you've gathered to explain your reasoning. Point out that while your current role is the priority, you want to ensure you set yourself up properly for future achievement. Whether your raise is approved or not, it's key to enlist your manager in helping you achieve career goals over the long term.

Following a successful raise conversation make sure you're clear on any additional responsibilities and deliverables, so you can sustain or surpass the performance level you present as the justification of your increase.

If raises aren't in the budget this time around, suggest an interim performance appraisal or check-in to review the situation. Ask for recommendations on how to improve in your current role and next steps that would bring higher income and implement this feedback. This could also be a moment to ask for perks instead of a raise: more vacation time, a title change, half-day Fridays, flex-time or working from home, which can all help bridge the gap.

Taking these steps when asking for a pay increase can simplify the legwork, boost your confidence and increase your odds of a favorable answer!

Sources: Glassdoor, Forbes 

What to Do if Your Flight Is Canceled or Delayed
By Miriam Cross, Kiplinger.com


The odds of encountering turbulence in your travel plans when you're flying are probably lower than you think: In the first 10 months of 2017, 18.4% of domestic airline flights were delayed on departure, and 1.6% were canceled, according to the Bureau of Transportation Statistics. But when you're the unlucky passenger stranded at the gate with no plane in sight, knowing what your rights are and what airlines typically offer to keep customers happy can help get you on your way sooner.

How airlines (might) help. The Department of Transportation requires airlines to compensate passengers only when they're bumped from an oversold flight (see Know Your Rights on Flights). Federal rules also govern how long planes can linger on the tarmac before an airline has to feed the passengers or let them off. Rules for all other kinds of delays and cancellations are spelled out in the carrier's contract of carriage.

For disruptions that airlines consider beyond their control -- which can include bad weather, fuel shortages and labor disputes -- the airlines typically offer you a seat on the next available flight or, depending on how long the delay is, a refund. For problems considered within their control -- including crew shortages and maintenance issues -- you'll fare better. For example, Alaska Airlines and JetBlue both provide credit for future flights in case of a long delay. (JetBlue passengers who experience a delay of six hours or more get a $250 credit.) Some airlines might arrange ground transportation as an alternative to flying. Alaska, American, Delta, Spirit and United, among others, may comp one night at a hotel -- typically when an overnight holdup lasts at least four hours. Food and beverage vouchers may also be part of the deal. In general, low-cost carriers offer fewer amenities.

Being assertive and resourceful will help speed up the process as well. "Rather than asking the gate agent, 'What will you do for me?' it's better to have a solution in mind," says Ed Perkins, contributing editor at SmarterTravel.com. For example, airlines generally rebook you on the next available flight, but some airlines may agree to transfer your ticket to another carrier, so pull out your smartphone and look up alternate routes.

While waiting in line to speak with an agent, call the customer service number (or a phone line reserved for loyalty program members, if you are one) and simultaneously reach out to the airline's social media team to get first crack at an empty seat. It's always best to resolve the problem while it's happening rather than requesting a voucher or other compensation by complaining after the fact. Even if an airline is stingy with perks, you may still be able to negotiate, say, loyalty-program miles by asking for them, says Paul Hudson, president of consumer organization Flyers Rights.

If you're rerouted on a new flight, be aware that many airlines count certain nearby airports as the same destination. And if a significant delay (as defined by the airline) or cancellation would upend your trip completely and you decide to forgo rebooking, you can ask for an "involuntary refund" of the unused portion of your ticket, even for nonrefundable tickets. Don't expect the airline to tell you about this option, says Hudson. You may have to ask to speak with a supervisor to discuss an involuntary refund.

Airlines have become more flexible about waiving change fees for customers when bad weather is forecast, says Anne McDermott, editor of FareCompare.com. You may not pay a difference in fare, either. But your window to reschedule is usually short.

If you have faced unfriendly skies in the past 12 months, an app called Service (www.getservice.com) may help. It scans your in-box for past flight delays or cancellations and submits claims for "good will" compensation on your behalf, typically in the form of vouchers or miles. The app is free, but you'll fork over a 30% cut of any compensation.

Reprinted with permission. All Contents ©2018 The Kiplinger Washington Editors. Kiplinger.com.

Before Bed Snacks: Do's and Dont's The foods you eat before bedtime can make a big difference in how fast you fall asleep, how long you sleep and your overall quality of rest. Here is our list of do's and don'ts for snooze-worthy snacking. DO: Sweet potato toast is a fun snack that's simple to prepare. Sweet potatoes are high in potassium, magnesium and calcium, all of which help with relaxation. DON'T: Highly refined flours found in cookies and sweets, along with high fat content, take a long time to digest and may keep you awake. Instead, opt for whole grains or a bowl of oatmeal, which naturally raise blood sugar and make you feel sleepy. DO: Fruits like cherries and prunes eaten about 30 minutes before bed can help produce melatonin, the hormone that regulates sleep. Bananas contain magnesium, potassium, and vitamin B6 that converts tryptophan into serotonin, increasing relaxation. Apples, oranges, pears, canteloupe and other watery melons can prevent dehydration, which can affect falling (and staying) asleep. DON'T: Fruit juices like orange, grapefruit and squeezed juices can trigger reflux in some people, so steer clear if you want to rest easy. Since most of the fiber is missing in juice, it may also spike blood sugar levels making it harder to fall asleep. Tomato-based salsas and sauces can also cause acid reflux. DO: Herbal teas are caffeine free and a healthier alternative to sleep aids. Teas containing chamomile or ginger are good for calming you down before bed as well as hydrating and soothing the stomach so you aren't digesting as you try to sleep. DON'T: Alcoholic beverages are a depressant that can put you to sleep, but the downside is they prevent the body from entering deep stages of sleep. Wines also contain lots of sugar and may wake you up later in the night. DO: Nuts and nut butters like almond, cashew and peanut contain protein to help you feel content. Almonds and pistachios contain magnesium, which helps improve sleep. Keep portions to less than a tablespoon of nut butter or ounce of nuts as too many calories, and high fat content, can keep you awake. DON'T: Processed and smoked meats definitely contain protein but include high levels of sodium, which is dehydrating and may wake you up for a drink of water. Same goes for high-calorie fast food choices like burgers, pizza and spicy foods that take a long time to digest. Bon appe-sleep! Source: Good Housekeeping

Traveling With Tikes No matter where you're headed or how you get there, stress is often a part of travel. But vacation plans take on a new level of complexity with kids in tow. Fortunately, there are plenty of ways to eliminate some of the hassle and make the trip more enjoyable for the whole family. Leave as early in the day as possible. Aside from sidestepping traffic, you can cover a lot of miles on the ground or in the air first thing in the morning when kids will be more into sleeping than stressing. Dress in layers and avoid laces. Temperatures can change quickly as you travel, so being able to remove layers quickly or slip shoes on and off simplifies everything from security screenings to bathroom visits. Pull-ups can save your seat. Even if your child is past the potty-training stage, you may encounter a long bathroom line or be too far from a rest stop for a child to wait. One diaper per hour of travel is usually recommended. Pack some fun. Digital devices are a perfect alternative to bringing multiple books or games, and will save space in the suitcase. Download e-books and awesome apps in advance. Bring a headphone splitter to share audio and don't forget the charger! Road warriors should be prepared with plenty of entertaining car games. Consider wrapping a new interactive gift like a coloring book, with promises of a prize for good behavior en route. Prevent travel sickness by feeding kids bland, non-greasy meals and snacks, like pretzels, crackers, nuts, string cheese and granola bars. Limit screen and reading time, and seat them next to a window. For driving: open a window or two to circulate fresh air. For flying: place them in a window seat, turn on overhead air vents and encourage deep breathing. Whether you're flying or driving to your next vacation destination, these tips can make it a smoother trip the whole family will enjoy. If you or anyone you know are thinking about buying or selling a home and would appreciate the level of service I provide, please let me know. I will be sure to follow up and take great care of them! Sources: Parents, TripSavvy, Mayo Clinic

 
All Natural Air Fresheners

Whether it's the insistent smell of last night's dinner or the dog's wet coat after a rainstorm, there are times when the air in our home needs to be freshened. Store-bought 
air fresheners and candles are an option, but the perfumes
and chemicals can sometimes cause headaches, nose 
and throat irritation, and other health issues. If you're looking 
for all-natural alternatives to try, these seven options can help.

Simmering pot fragrances are easy to make and offer 
endless recipes to try. For thoughtful gifts, just assemble in 
batches and package into mason jars with ribbon!

Scented pillow sachets filled with any combination of dried ingredients, like chamomile, vanilla, 
lavender and jasmine are all said to help with better sleep. Whether that's true or not, your sleeping 
area will smell like a dream.

DIY room sprays can be used to make your home smell like a spring breeze. Fill a misting bottle 
with a 1-to-1 ratio of water to vodka, add 12 drops of lilac essential oil, and shake. If the scent isn't 
strong enough, add one additional drop at a time of lilac oil until you achieve the desired strength.

Freshen carpets naturally with a homemade mixture of 1/2 cup baking soda, 2 teaspoons dried 
rosemary and a few drops of lavender essential oil. To do so, finely chop the rosemary in a food 
processor, then add it to a plastic bag with the rest of the ingredients and mix well. Sprinkle over 
carpets, let sit for 15 to 20 minutes and then vacuum.

Empty commercial plug-in fresheners with glass containers can be refilled with your choice of 
natural ingredients. Simply remove the wick, fill the container with a 1-to-1 ratio of your favorite 
essential oil and water, replace and you'll be ready to go.

Wreaths of eucalyptus, rosemary or bay laurel secured with wire and hung up in a bathroom 
are not just decorative; shower steam will trigger the release of their refreshing scents each time 
you bathe.

Pomander balls can remove and replace musty odors from drawers, closets and rooms. Make 
them by studding oranges with whole cloves. Spacing the cloves evenly and as close together 
as possible will give best results.

If you or anyone you know are buying or selling a home and would appreciate the level of service 
I provide, please let me know. I will be sure to follow up and take great care of them! 

Sources: Better Homes and Gardens, Martha Stewart

How to Stop Getting Robo Calls By Miriam Cross, Kiplinger.com Your phone rings and a perky voice announces that she is "Heather from card services," and she has important news for you. You know Heather is a recording and that the low interest rate she's promoting is a scam. You hang up. Robo calls that use sales pitches or scare tactics to siphon your money are on the rise. Unwanted  calls have topped the Federal Communications Commission's list of consumer complaints over t he past several years. Many are against the law: Most robo calls to your smartphone are illegal, and robo sales calls to your home phone are illegal except in specific circumstances. And they are becoming trickier to spot. Robo callers are covering their tracks by "spoofing," or falsifying t heir caller ID so it displays a fake number that appears to be local. The FCC recently announced that phone companies may proactively block calls that appear to be spoofed -- a good step forward, says Margot Saunders, senior counsel to the National Consumer Law Center. What You Can Do Start by checking to see if you inadvertently gave permission to some callers to disturb your dinner. For example, you may have checked a box on a loan application consenting to reminders by any means. You'll need to contact the company t o revoke your consent. Adding your number to the Do Not Call registry (www.donotcall.gov) will deflect live sales calls f rom legitimate telemarketers. However, it won't stop scammers or calls for debt collection, surveys and more. Check your home-phone provider about blocking individual numbers or enabling Anonymous Call Rejection. If you get your home-phone service from an internet provider, such as Comcast Xfinity or Verizon Fios, try Nomorobo (www.nomorobo.com). (For other suggestions, go to www.ustelecom.org/issues/robocallsand click on "Sampling of Tools.") To prevent individual callers from reaching your cell phone, look up instructions at www.ctia.org/consumer-tips/robocalls. To further cover your bases, enable a blocking app on your smartphone. Some carriers are rolling out services that warn customers or intercept suspicious calls outright, including AT&T's free Call Protect, T-Mobile's free Scam ID and Scam Block, and Verizon's Caller Name ID ($3 per month). Alternatively, a number of third-party apps will reveal caller ID; fend off known scammers automatically while allowing legal robo calls (such as appointment reminders) to get through; and let you customize your own blacklist. Some apps guard against spam texts, too, such as PrivacyStar and Truecaller for mobile phones. The YouMail app delivers an "out of service" message to discourage nefarious callers from contacting you in the future; RoboKiller ($3 per month or $25 per year, iOS only) plays a snarky prerecorded message of your choosing to flummox spam callers. Review an app's privacy policy before downloading. For example, the Hiya app may access your phone number as well as your phone's call and text logs and contacts. Back to Basics Whether or not you download an app, avoid answering calls from an unknown number -- even if you recognize the area code or prefix. Check your voice mail afterward, or see if you can set up voice-mail transcription instead. Reprinted with permission. All Contents ©2018 The Kiplinger Washington  Editors. Kiplinger.com. (prices are accurate at time of publishing)

Housing Starts Stall Construction on new homes declined from March to April. New and Existing Home Sales followed the trend. April Housing Starts declined 3.7 percent from March to an annual rate of 1.287 million units,  below expectations, the Commerce Department reported. However, Housing Starts were up 10.5 percent from April 2017. Single-family home starts, which make up a big chunk of residential  construction, inched 0.1 percent higher from March to April, while multi-dwelling starts of five or more units fell 12.6 percent. Building Permits, a sign of future construction, fell 1.8 percent from March to an annual rate of 1.352 million units, just above expectations. Randy Noel, chairman for the National Association of Home Builders, noted that, "The record -high cost of lumber is hurting builders' bottom lines and  making it more difficult to produce competitively priced houses for newcomers to the market." Inventory of available new homes for sale saw a slight uptick in April, with a 5.4-month supply, just below the 6-month supply considered normal. New Home Sales, however, declined 1.5 percent from March to April to an annual rate of 662,000 units, according to the Commerce Department. Though this was below expectations, sales are still up 11.6 percent from April of last year. Existing Home Sales also saw a decline in April, after two straight months of gains. The National Association of REALTORS® reported that Existing Home Sales fell 2.5 percent month over month to an annual rate of 5.46 million units. On an annual basis, Existing Home Sales are down 1.4 percent and have declined year over year for two straight months. Lawrence Yun, the NAR chief economist, says this spring's staggeringly low inventory levels caused existing sales to slump in April. He explains, "The root cause of the underperforming sales activity in much of the country so far this year continues to be the utter lack of available listings on the market to meet the strong demand for buying a home." April saw just a 4-month supply of existing homes available on the market, below the 6 months seen as normal. Despite the recent declines, the housing sector remains solid due to the continued growth in the economy coupled with a strong labor market. While home loan rates have moved higher this year, they remain historically attractive. If you or anyone you know are thinking about buying or selling a home and would appreciate the level of service I provide, please let me know. I will be sure to follow up and take great care of them! Enjoy this month's issue of YOU Magazine.